Comfort zone
14 September 2024‘Comfort zone’ is an interesting phrase. It often comes loaded with negative connotations, of laziness, self-indulgence, a lack of motivation. Everywhere we look, we’re encouraged to leave it, to push ourselves, to do things that don’t come naturally or easily to us, for reasons that are never made entirely clear.
I doubt I’d ever satisfy the self-actualisation types who preach this gospel. I don’t get out of bed at 5am to chase some imaginary sense of perfectly fulfilled potential, because I think I’m a nicer person to be around when I get up at 7 or 8 and that matters more to me. I might appear lazy or weak to grindset types, but the truth they don’t see is that I spend a great deal of my life in a zone that is far from comfortable. As a neurodivergent person, I live in a world that isn’t designed with people like me in mind. I have to spend my days bending and twisting my thoughts and feelings to suit others and their sensibilities. It can be a tiring, thankless task.
I’ve been particularly uncomfortable in recent months with a bout of autistic burnout made worse by some people in my life deciding that being there for me could be thrown in the too-hard basket at a time when people being there for me was exactly what I needed. I don’t say any of this for sympathy; I say it because it’s accurate. I should also point out that I greatly appreciate everyone who has remained there for me in recent months, whether that be in person or online. I need connections if I’m to keep going, truly.
Anyway, thanks to this latest episode or whatever you choose to call it, the rhythm I’d cultivated in photography and writing fell off badly. I barely touched my camera for months, and I had no idea what to write. I was uninspired, empty, lost. I’ve also had other things happening in my life causing additional stress, including workplace drama and an enforced house move. So when I stumbled upon an opportunity to spend time in my comfort zone earlier today, I took it. And in so doing I took some photos, more than I have in quite a while, and here are a few of them. I don’t honestly know if they’re good or not, but I hope the act of simply taking them and sharing them here is a positive step.
And no, I don’t know why my comfort zone extends to a quiet industrial estate in Heidelberg West on a Saturday afternoon.